Christmas

Merry Christmas!

the highlight of my holidays so far was when Bill yelled from far away "MERRY CHRISTMAS YOUNG LADY" at me. However, this christmas has been less than perfect...

1. no one was ready. really. i was talking to caleb and alex about it yesterday morning, we really only pay attention to the holidays when we're closely knit with our families; when we're old or young.

2. i'm completely broke. i barely managed to get christmas presents for everyone this year. and i still have to take $$$ out of the bank. mad dollas for new years.

3. my mum bought me pants for christmas. which is great, i need pants... but she bought them all in size 7/8 because she thinks i'm "not so skinny anymore, not that i ever really was" ... i am size 3. great.

hey

yea

I am a morning person.
I am a perfectionist.
I am an only child.
I am Catholic.
I am currently in my PJs.
I am currently pregnant.
I am currently suffering from a broken heart.
I am left handed.
I am married.
I am addicted to myspace.

I’m shy around the opposite sex.
I bite my nails.
I currently regret something I have done.
When I get mad I curse.
I don’t like anyone.
I enjoy country music.
I enjoy Jazz.
I have a car.
I have a cell phone.
I have a pet. (phil)
I have at least one brother or sister.
I have been to another country.

I have been told that I’m smart.

I have been told that I have an unusual sense of humor.

I have had a broken bone.
I have caller ID on my phone.
I have changed a lot over the past year.
I have had surgery.
I have killed another person.
I have had my hair cut within the last week.
I have had the cops called on me.
I have kissed someone I knew I shouldn’t.
I have kissed someone of the same gender.
I have mood swings. Doesn’t everyone?
I have rejected someone before.
I have seen the Lord of the Rings trilogy.
I have watched Sex and the City.
I like Shakespeare.
I love to cook.
I love Michael Jackson.
I love sleeping.
I love to shop.
I miss someone right now.
I own over 100 cds. (100 cds+ downloaded, I didn't actually buy any of them)
I own over 100 dvds.
I own & use a library card.
I practice a religion that is not considered mainstream.
I read books for pleasure in my spare time.
I sleep a lot during the day.
I strongly dislike math.
I think Britney Spears is pretty.
I will try ALMOST anything once.
I work at a job that I enjoy.
I would classify myself as ghetto.

I can name all seven dwarfs from Snow White.
I am currently wearing socks.
I am tired.
I am currently waiting for someone.
I lost contact with someone.
I hate Miley Cyrus.
I think Party In The USA is catchy.
I’d date Harry Potter.
I can name all the past presidents of the United States.
I know who was president before George Bush.
I love pickles.
I need the internet to live.
I prefer vanilla over chocolate.
I watched Star Trek.
I watched all six movies of Star Wars.
I own an Xbox.
I think music is life.

I. Music (BOLD THE ONES YOU LIKE)

Acceptance. COLDPLAY. Dave Matthews Band. David Bowie. Foo Fighters. Hellogoodbye. The Killers. James Blunt.Teddy Geiger. Linkin Park. Muse. Ok Go. Panic At The Disco. Peter Bjorn.The Postal Service. Timbaland. Jack Johnson. Norah Jones.Drake. The Fray. The Wreckers. Michael Buble. Beyoncé. Metallica. Massive Attack. Queen. Journey. The Cars. Supertramp. Eurythmics. Sublime. The Red Hot Chili Peppers. Wu-tang Clan. Fergie. Sarah McLachlan. Band of Horses. John Mayer. Jason Mraz. Justin Timberlake. Michael Jackson. Kenny Chesney. Carrie Underwood. Lynyrd Skynyrd. Neil Young. The Beatles. Brad Paisley. Tim McGraw. Taylor Swift. P. Diddy. Jay Z. Lil’ Wayne. Lil’ Jon. Three 6 Mafia. Nelly. Young Joc. T.I. Sean Paul 50 Cent.EMINEM.Eiffel 65. Ace of Base. The Underdog Project. Dream Theater. Santana. Alicia Keys. Incubus. Victor Wooten. Ludacris. Gorillaz. Matchbox 20. Paramore. Say Anything.Taking Back Sunday. Eric Clapton. The Darkness. Weezer. The Eagles. Jimi Hendrix. Nirvana. Smashing Pumpkins. Third Eye Blind. Metro Station. Motion City Soundtrack. The Rocket Summer. Tenacious D. Something Corporate. Maroon 5. Billy Joel. Reel Big Fish. Anberlin. Mae. Family Force 5. AC/DC. Hootie and the Blowfish. Electric Six. Outkast. R.E.M. The White Stripes. Prince. Mika. Crystal Castles.Britney Spears. Spice Girls.The Gossip. Lady GaGa. The Moldy Peaches. Macy Gray. Mandy Moore. Plain White T’s. Yeah Yeah Yeahs. My Chemical Romance. Fall Out Boy. We the Kings. The Rolling Stones. Angels & Airwaves. The Beastie Boys. Boys Like Girls. Jonas Brothers. Demi Lovato. Selena Gomez. The Cure.Cobra Starship. Death Cab for Cutie. Deftones. Team Sleep. Filter. Goo Goo Dolls. Honor Society. Katy Perry. Kid Cudi. Jordin Sparks.

II. Movies (BOLD THE ONES YOU’VE SEEN)

Pride and Prejudice. Glory Road. The Princess Bride. Center Stage. Ocean’s Eleven.Seven. Newsies. 300. Robin Hood Men In Tights. Love Actually. Garden State. Donnie Darko. My Best Friend’s Wedding. Anchorman. Drop Dead Gorgeous.Wedding Crashers. Elf. Zoolander. Austin Powers. Clueless. Mean Girls. Hairspray. Fight Club. Rocky. Pulp Fiction. What A Girl Wants. Kill Bill.Thank You For Smoking. Little Miss Sunshine. Requiem for a Dream. The Departed. Dawn of the Dead. Memento. The Lovely Bones. 17 again. 8 Mile. Eminem a.k.a. Office Space. Snakes on a Plane. Boondock Saints. Say Anything. The Silence of the Lambs. Saving Private Ryan. Superbad. The Prestige. Just Friends. The Devil Wears Prada. Under the Tuscan Sun.Titanic.Steel Magnolias. Ace Ventura. She’s the Man. Spanglish. Stick It. Step Up. The Fast and the Furious. Joyride. Halloween. The Italian Job. Crash. Must Love Dogs. The Last Kiss. Chicago. Harry Potter.Rush Hour. Breakfast at Tiffany’s. Clerks. Shooter. The Bourne Identity. Meet the Parents. Dirty Dancing. A Christmas Story. Rudy. National Treasure.Sleepless in Seattle.Miss Congeniality. The Science of Sleep. The Matrix. Everything is Illuminated. Good Will Hunting. Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure. Empire Records. Phantom of the Opera. Lord of the Rings. Click.Scarface. District 9.

TV (BOLD THE ONES YOU’VE WATCHED MORE THAN A COUPLE OF TIMES)

ER. Grey’s Anatomy. Saved by the Bell. Man vs. Wild. Scrubs. South Park. America’s Next Top Model. Gossip Girl. Sex and the City. Friends.Dawson’s Creek. The Big Bang Theory. Seinfeld. The Office. Lost.Miami Ink. Arrested Development. That 70’s Show. Family Guy. The Simpsons.Veronica Mars. Project Runway. Bones. Iron Chef.Alias.Pushing Dasies. Gilmore Girls. The Colbert Report. The Daily Show.Mythbusters. Avatar: The Last Airbender. Will and Grace. 24. To Catch A Predator. Whistler. Heroes. Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Unsolved Mysteries. 7th Heaven.Everybody Loves Raymond. Boston Legal.Bleach. What I Like About You. Reba. King of Queens. Survivor. The O.C. American Idol. Days of Our Lives. How I Met Your Mother. CSI. Boy Meets World. Law and Order. Numbers. Reno 911.I Love New York. Step by Step.Little People Big World. What Not To Wear. My Wife and Kids. Moonlight. Supernatural. Ace of Cakes. White Collar. Nip/Tuck. The Biggest Loser. Beauty and the Geek. Battlestar Galactica. Stargate SG1. The Inferno. Scarred. Wild N Out. Real World.Whose Line is it Anyway?. Trinity Blood. Dead Like Me. Dragon Ball Z. Futurama. Firefly. Medium. Star Trek. X-files. Cowboy BeBop. Sailor Moon. Six Feet Under.Dancing With The Stars. Degrassi. Greek. Glee. Secret Life of the American Teenager. The Hills. Laguna Beach.

So,

So, I don't know what to say to this, I'm got home early so I could shower and actually eat dinner.

I'm pathetic. Really.

I've been spending all my time with a lot of crazy birds. Smoking a lot of cigarettes.

I haven't thizzed since I stopped, although it's all I've been able to think about... I might start drinking for lack of money and minimizing my drug use. It might help, it might not.

Met a boy. A few boys, actually. But this one boy, he was creepin' a bit. He found me today and said he'd been looking for me and I told me I'd been at school but he must've missed me or something because I was there fo'sho'. And then he stood there awkwardly for a few minutes and asked if I wanted to go to subway with him and I said no. thank you.

And then he was asked why and I said I don't know. And he asked why again. And I said I had to be going home soon and he tried smiling this whole come one, please? and I said no.

I was stoned as shit. He seemed upset.

He was nice. Really nice, last week when I met him we took the bus to the same place (we were both trying to get home from GCC). He asked me all sorts of questions and I didn't care. For some reason I told him I'm/was detoxing and he told me he used to be really addicted to pain killers. When we finally got to our destionation he asked if he could get coffee with me,

I said I didn't have any money. But, if he wanted he was free to sit with me while I bummed around Rao's. And he sat with me for about five hours. We talked. We got along fine. He wasn't really attractive but that didn't matter.

I told him even though I was detoxing I was still highly considering breaking my clean streak for halloween. He got all up in my buisniess and said he didn't want me to.

What? WHO ARE YOU? You don't care about me, you just met me.

And all the boys I know have been up my ass about how I haven't had sex in almost a year. They can suck a fat one. I feel like, I shouldn't be having sex, like I'm "not allowed" and I have to maintain this wave of purity for anyone to want me... Because the only reason someone would want me is for the sake of not being able to have me?

All I want are your kaleidoscope cat-eyes. The dilated pupils and silver beads.


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Day 04 - Your views on religion.

I believe in people, I mean, we're made of stardust afterall.

Sonic Boom

The thing that scares me most are us, we, the people. What scares me is how we change so much; For better, for worse, it doesn't matter. Different is different is not the same as before. I liked her. It was just so nice to know someone wanted me, for whatever reason. The fact that someone can wake up one day and be someone completely different is scary, don't you agree? Especially when you love someone, you also fall in love with the moment, fall in love with the times and now and then. You never want to change, you never want them to change. I don't want anyone to change, I love them just the way they are. People are here to simply "be." To give ourselves away to each other. I hate that things have changed, I miss her, I want to go back to when I was the happiest.


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Day 03 - Your views on drugs and alcohol.


marijuana is good for the soul, and there's no denying that.

Day 02 - Where you’d like to be in 10 years.



away from this place.

Day 01 : there's nothing to say

I still doubt she understands how complete I was with her.

Day 01 - Your current relationship, if single discuss how single life is. Day 02 - Where you’d like to be in 10 years. Day 03 - Your views on drugs and alcohol. Day 04 - Your views on religion. Day 05 - A time you thought about ending your own life. Day 06 - Write 30 interesting facts about yourself. Day 07 - Your zodiac sign and if you think it fits your personality. Day 08 - A moment you felt the most satisfied with your life. Day 09 - How you hope your future will be like. Day 10 - Discuss your first love and first kiss. Day 11 - Put your ipod on shuffle and write 10 songs that pop up. Day 12 - Bullet your whole day. Day 13 - Somewhere you’d like to move or visit. Day 14 - Your earliest memory. Day 15 - Your favorite tumblrs. Day 16 - Your views on mainstream music. Day 17 - Your highs and lows of this past year. Day 18 - Your beliefs. Day 19 - Disrespecting your parents. Day 20 - How important you think education is. Day 21 - One of your favorite shows. Day 22 - How have you changed in the past 2 years Day 23 - Give pictures of 5 people who are famous who you find attractive. Day 24 - Your favorite movie and what it’s about. Day 25 - Someone who fascinates you and why. Day 26 - What kind of person attracts you. Day 27 - A problem that you have had. Day 28 - Something that you miss. Day 29 - Goals for the next 30 days Day 30 - Your highs and lows of this month.

Stay in bed till we feel alright, Oh but we go out at night

hm. Things I have to do today (which I cannot find a pen nor pencil currently, so I'm posting this shit all ova this other shit)
Albums: Red, Yellow & Blue, The ArchAndriod, Mare (Tonight: Does It Look Like I'm Here?, The Suburbs, Black City, Crazy For You [again], Elephant Eyelash)
Books: Cat's Cradle (at least fifty pages), That book for coursework... + coursereadings for that other course.
CVS: shampoo, facewash, Rx, butterscotch for sore throat...
Chores: laundry, finish picking up clothes, organizing shit, figure out my finances, tear down/decorate/call kurk to figure out dates for moving (I'm moving into my basement lolol)