So,

So, I don't know what to say to this, I'm got home early so I could shower and actually eat dinner.

I'm pathetic. Really.

I've been spending all my time with a lot of crazy birds. Smoking a lot of cigarettes.

I haven't thizzed since I stopped, although it's all I've been able to think about... I might start drinking for lack of money and minimizing my drug use. It might help, it might not.

Met a boy. A few boys, actually. But this one boy, he was creepin' a bit. He found me today and said he'd been looking for me and I told me I'd been at school but he must've missed me or something because I was there fo'sho'. And then he stood there awkwardly for a few minutes and asked if I wanted to go to subway with him and I said no. thank you.

And then he was asked why and I said I don't know. And he asked why again. And I said I had to be going home soon and he tried smiling this whole come one, please? and I said no.

I was stoned as shit. He seemed upset.

He was nice. Really nice, last week when I met him we took the bus to the same place (we were both trying to get home from GCC). He asked me all sorts of questions and I didn't care. For some reason I told him I'm/was detoxing and he told me he used to be really addicted to pain killers. When we finally got to our destionation he asked if he could get coffee with me,

I said I didn't have any money. But, if he wanted he was free to sit with me while I bummed around Rao's. And he sat with me for about five hours. We talked. We got along fine. He wasn't really attractive but that didn't matter.

I told him even though I was detoxing I was still highly considering breaking my clean streak for halloween. He got all up in my buisniess and said he didn't want me to.

What? WHO ARE YOU? You don't care about me, you just met me.

And all the boys I know have been up my ass about how I haven't had sex in almost a year. They can suck a fat one. I feel like, I shouldn't be having sex, like I'm "not allowed" and I have to maintain this wave of purity for anyone to want me... Because the only reason someone would want me is for the sake of not being able to have me?

All I want are your kaleidoscope cat-eyes. The dilated pupils and silver beads.


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Day 04 - Your views on religion.

I believe in people, I mean, we're made of stardust afterall.